Re: MEANWHILE - [IC Thread B]

[Nehiel Mori]

NM still continues to be baffled.

"But... I am a 'woman' then a 'man' then a 'woman' again? Why can't I be both? Is there a name that fits both?" NM asks.

[Lapis-Lazily]

"There are a few that can apply to either gender, but I am not fond of them. The one's I can think of right now are Jesse, Leslie, and Alex."

[Nehiel Mori]

"Parker?" NM asks.

[Lapis-Lazily]

"That name is more associated with men, but the real question is whether you think a name fits you. Do you like the name Parker?

[Nehiel Mori]

((funny thing being the name that I stole the characters current image from is named Parker.))

NM tilts her head again, and taps her chin as she ponders. "Parker... paaarker... poooker... PARKER! I like Parker. Call me Parker!"

[Lapis-Lazily]

"Whoah, easy there, Parker. If you enjoy the name, then that is what I shall call you."

Volker is pleased and warmed by the childish antics of Parker. His smile is now more genuine and less creepy, but still a little unnerving given the skull-like quality of his head.

[Nehiel Mori]

"Actually..." NM thinks more. "Never mind. LETS SELECT A NEW NAME. I don't like Parker anymore."

"Erin?"

[Lapis-Lazily]

Volker's smile fades to exasperation.

"Oh my. I can tell you are going to be quite the handful, Erin."

[Nehiel Mori]

"Hmmm?" Erin says, looking at Volker quizzically. "How can I be a handfull? I am the size of a person. Can people fit in eachothers hands? Oh! Do you want me to be small? I can do that! I don't feel like it though.

[Lapis-Lazily]

"Ah, little one. You have yet to learn figurative speech. When I say you are a handful, I simply mean that you are difficult to care for due to your seemingly random and indecisive nature."

[Nehiel Mori]

"Oh... okay! So, what should we do now?"

[Lapis-Lazily]

"Well, I would like to eat, but then Jessica was supposed to show me around the facility. Would you care to join us?"

[Nehiel Mori]

Erin shrugs. "Sure, I don't see why not! I SHALL HAVE MORE PORK!"

[Lapis-Lazily]

"Very well. Sebastian, does Jeeves do food preparation, or must I find and cook something for myself?"

[Kindulas]

"I can prepare a meal," Jeeves answers. "If the child-creature is still hungry as well, perhaps we should all partake."

[Nehiel Mori]

"More noms?" Erin says, then explodes with a shout of glee "MORE NOMS!"

[Lapis-Lazily]

"Thank you, Jeeves."

Volker sits down and begins to wait patiently for the meal.

[Kindulas]

Jeezes and Jessica both get to work in the Kitchen, Jeeves mostly handling the food and Jessica making sure all the machines don't explode - it becomes more and more clear just how much of the kitchen has gizmos attached.

As the team waited, Sebastian was predictably quiet while Vash talked enough for the both of them, delightedly making conversation with the eager "Erin," answering questions about himself whenever possible.

Somewhere before dinner was prepared, a massive Loxodon with a scar over his face and worn Boros armor entered the scene.

With a 27 to history, Volker easily spots it as the brand the Boros use to mark deserters and traitors. Erin probably doesn't realize it's not a natural part of his face.

[Nehiel Mori]

"But what happened to the mime?" Erin asks after Vash finishes another story of his exploits. "Did he survive? Will he ever walk again?! And what is this 'cannon' you spoke of? Why do bitches like it?"

Her attention is entirely focused on Vash, causing her to completely ignore the elephant in the room.

[Kindulas]

"Anyway, bitches love cannons because they're long, hard and fire an explosive payload.
Anyway, so these Azorious dicks tried imprisoning him for Miming without a licence, and as they were reading him the warrant I cut the warrant apart. Of course this revealed I had a sword, and they told me to 'get on my knees.' So, I responded with 'I'm not your mother last night,' and they took exception to that. So, since all they really were was dicks and I guess they were just doing thier job I tied them up and left the in the street for awhile, but not before checking their ID, breaking into their boss's office in the night and writing threatening messages about how the underground Mime's Militia will break his knees. Then I ate all of the snacks he had stored in the room. Poor bastard is still trying to find a Mime crime syndicate."

[Nehiel Mori]

"Whoaaaaaooo." Erin says, her eyes wide open as Vash spins his tale. "So if these Azorious guys ever try to bother me should I just scream for you? Or! I know! I'll mimic you! They'll leave me alone then! Who would want to mess with the Badass Vash?!"

[Lapis-Lazily]

Volker finally decides to interject, seeing as nobody else seems to notice the goddamned elephant in the room.

"I do not recommend being Vash, Erin. It does not suit you. However, we seem to have a new gust in the room, a former Boros by the look of it. My name is Volker, a former... debt collector for the Orzhov. Please sit down and tell us your story Mr..."

[Jentaru]

"There is no 'MR' before my name," The loxodon responded in his deep rough voice that seemed as loud as a shout but had no indication of anger behind it. "I am a proud Loxodon, the title 'MR' never sullies that. I was know as Olnar the Shield in my days with the legion. But for some time now, my name had been disgraced to Olnar the Scarred."

Olnar sat down at the table, the chair beneath him complaining adamantly under his weight. He reached with a massive hand towards a pile of rolls and picked up 4 or 5. He placed them on his plate and bowed his head.

[[Btw, this is sorta what he looks like. (link removed because faulty) I still have to figure out what the branded scar looks like but yeah]]

[Lapis-Lazily]

Volker looks strangely confused by the loxodon.

"Never in all my years have I met anyone else who considers the title of "Mr" to be a stain upon their name. Most unusual. Then again, I have had very few dealings with the loxodons and all of my dealings with the Boros in the past were with the Orzhov guild under strict terms of enmity. Have you been with this group long?"

[Also, Chris, you might want to check your link there. I got a definitely NSFW picture of a naked woman in a pool of water. Good thing my mom was not in the room.]

[Nehiel Mori]

"Nice to meet you Elephanty man!" Erin grins. "I'm part elephant myself! I think... technically I'm part everything. Anyways, glad you are hear to enjoy the noms!"

She then turns her attention to the rest of the assembled group. "Hey guys! We have a new friend! Hes a coolio guy who likes food like us!"

[Jentaru]

"I apologize for my bluntness," Olnar said as he lifted his head. "We Loxodon treat our names as sacred and to put a title before our holiness is blasphemous to us. We are first the soul, then we are the physical. To answer your question, I am not as new as you are but I have not been here long. I don't remember the exact date to which I joined but it hasn't been past a full cycle." Olnar pulled another handful of rolls onto his plate.

Olnar turned to the young woman at the table and handed her a roll, "If you like food you will enjoy these." The rolls were adorned with a flaky green herb and ground red spice. Cracking into the fluffy center releases a sweet and spicy aroma into the air.

[[Sorry Gabe, I have no clue what that is about. The link works fine for my computer. I will take it down just to be sure. Just look up the original art for loxodon warhammer and thats what I use as a char art.]]

[Lapis-Lazily]

"Oh, it is perfectly fine. I apologize for offending the beliefs of your culture. My, we have quite the odd assortment here. A semi-talking and very intelligent cat and former Orzhov, a young woman resulting from a joint Simic-Izzet experiment, a former Rakdos vampire, an escaped Simic shapeshifting experiment, a former Boros soldier, a butler, and me of course, walk into an abandoned Orzhov chapel. I'm just waiting for the punchline."

[Nehiel Mori]

Erin takes the orb with a curious look and says "Thank you Olnar! OM NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM." Her mouth opens wide, wider then it actually is capable for a human, before crunching down on the rolls. "MY LORD. Delicious! MORE NOMS!"

[Jentaru]

Olnar takes his hand back in fear that it too will be swallowed along with a roll if he offered it.
"I am unsure where the punchline comes in. The boss is usually the one with all the good jokes." Olnar points to Sebastian.

[Nehiel Mori]

All the noise that can be heard from Erin is "munch munch munch"

[Lapis-Lazily]

"I thought Vash was the funny one. Or is he just the vulgar without being funny type?"

[Kindulas]

"Ooo, harsh!" Vash says. "I like to think I'm clever. Anyway, good to see you Olnar!"

At that moment, Jeeves and Jess walk in, unsurprisingly, with pork. And bread. In fact, it seems to be a much finer meal than one might expect in this abandoned hideout of a place, but everything is prepared with a professional touch and a tantalizing aroma. The bread is seasoned with butter and garlic and the pork is cooked to perfection.

[Lapis-Lazily]

Volker grabs a very modest portion of everything and begins to eat slowly. After a few bites he turns to Jessica and says:

"Why, this is the finest meal I've had since leaving Orzhov. I've never been much of a cook. Where did you Jeeves learn how to cook so well?"

[Nehiel Mori]

Erin starts to drool somewhat, before grabbing all the sandwich's she can reasonably take and scoffing them down. Eventually, satisfied with the food given she lets out a loud *burp*, leans back in her chair and mumbles out a "thank you kind peopl-" before falling sound asleep in her chair curled up as best she can.

[Kindulas]

"Well," Jess says, "All I know is what Jeeves taught me."

"I was a personal assistant to an Azorious aristocrat. I was later framed for poisoning his cat. Rather ironic now, once you think about it."

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